回顧
傷病折磨這麼久了,還能撐下去,可見我尚有登山人的韌性。臀部的壓迫感是恐怖的苦難,只消幾天就能讓人失去求生意志,我卻忍受了足足二年,不知如何能夠走過來,也不知還能承受多久。然而,老實說,沒有妻的鼎力支撐,我早已投入冥界,讓此身化為一堆白骨。

Against the wind the eagle flied vigorously as usual,
Without knowing the hurt inside his wings.
Just feeling the weakness, he lost power and fell into the marsh.

He struggled fiercely, alas, that only led to the twittering in pain.
Mud all over his body, feather soaked wet, and feet stud in dirty water.

His mate left him not, instead, bringing him every meal.
Once giving up, he calmed down and determined not to die here.

傷後暫時停止登山,當時準備花一個月的時間去治療調理,怎奈已經將近三年,至今還在奮戰不懈。山友和影友皆在等我再起同行,我也用盡方法耗盡心力,試圖讓身體筋骨好轉,無奈復健之路一直非常坎坷。

先前錯失多次康復的可能,主要是對身體認識不足,腦筋極不清楚,追根究底就是缺乏智慧。相信今年是我最後的機會,不是今年,那就沒有未來了。友人紛紛認定我身體極端敗壞,此後已與高山絕緣,但我堅信自己終會重獲力量,回到高山拍照。已經別無選擇,我必須賭上自己的性命。

The cursed body and inevitable disaster were the punishment for personal crimes. For several years, the way home are blocked, and he struggled desperately. Temptations and obstacles were present everywhere; with nearly no progress, his health even deteriorated. After that, almost all things became intolerable. He tried to rescue himself, which only led to hurrying from one perilous act to another. No place like home, but time and space are too huge for him. Depending wholly on volition, he fought his way on, although always in vain. Years passed by, the hope of recovering was very faint, but it never died.

醒悟
夢境中忍受情殤,醒來感覺頗不是滋味,但終於悟出,此景雖呈現內心深層焦慮,卻可視為臭氣釋放的一個過程。

走在林間山道,意念在腦中輪轉,倏然,我似被無形的石塊擊中腦部,一句痛切的話鑽進我裂開的頭骨:Friends in need are friends indeed!

造成現在的局面,不是別人的錯,而是自己的愚蠢所致;分不清好與歹、益友或損友、惡魔與天使,長年淪為俎上肉,能不斷送筋骨?我花了五年多才認識一人一事,同時瞭解自己的無知,只能說是可悲啊!

陽台陶盆裡一棵土肉桂苗,種植幾個月後,春來慢生嫩芽。同盆的百合快速長高,似乎占盡優勢,但別忘了,土肉桂是木本植物,長年以後才見真章!

策略
騎單車易致傷害,先前經驗已經多不勝數,很早就確定,我必須靠健行來復健,而非騎車。近來開始加上水療,這幾乎可以每天進行,但似乎只能當成輔助,效果並不明確。

歷經長期的矯正與治療,骨盆勉強達到低限的穩定,髖部慢慢有點力量,可以爬坡和走階梯,雖然狀況依然不定時失控。近來經常循著階梯山路走往十八份,理想情況一天連續流汗半小時,若能規律進行幾個月,可望改善身體狀況,這應算是運動療法。

去年也很努力活動筋骨,可惜歷經睡眠障礙,竟把冰敷之事忘了。今年初再由物理治療師提醒,每次運動健行之後進行冰敷,這成為後期復健過程的關鍵之一。

努力往上爬
平日利用下午時間去爬坡,活動範圍是十八份與中正山,出門不必開車,拿著登山杖即可出門。這一天同樣從家裡起步,耗費一小時以上,高度一舉爬升約四百公尺,至中正山停車場登山口折返,完成了初步設定的目標。

下山時心境變得不太一樣,以感恩的心境先唱起社歌,然後山野之歌一首接一首,不斷大口吸氣,一次一次用力吐出,似在換取全新的生命之氣。

一開始歌還唱得有點悲壯,然後聲音越來越高昂,情緒完全投入。循著柏油路穿過林間,腳步邁開之時,歌聲一再迴響於樹頂。那是登山人特有的誇張唱法,每節(甚至每字)都是重音,我懷疑,胸廓中真有一把火!
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